You Versus Drew

You say, “The best day of your life was the day you met me.”

Drew says, “Welcome to the team!”

We go out for dinner, and you introduce me to Ethiopian food. You pick up the check without a second thought.

Drew gets me up to speed on a new project during our lunch break. We pay for our own meals.

You want to cuddle on the couch while we watch TV.

Drew sits diagonally across the table from me during our team meeting.

You drag the trash and recycling cans out to the curb at night so that I don’t have to do it in the morning.

Drew steps aside so I can pour a cup of coffee from the office kitchen, even though he was there first.

We are at the grocery store, and you are distracted by the young, beautiful females in every aisle.

We are preparing for an upcoming work event, and Drew is so focused that he doesn’t even notice the group of females that are hovering nearby.

Your eyes are green and remind me of the color of the spruce trees in your immersive photographs.

Drew’s eyes are blue and remind me of the color of a bottomless lake that I want to dive into.

You quit your job today because you don’t want to be controlled by a job.

Drew tackles another crisis at work head-on.

While you are trying to figure out what you want to do next, you admit that you don’t have a plan “B.”

While Drew has planned his goals for the next three, six, and twelve months ahead.

You are angry with me because I do not do things the way you do them.

Drew posts a public message in our group work chat about how

impressed he is by the way I work and the success I had on a recent project.

It took you three days to notice that I got a haircut.

It took Drew three minutes to comment on my new shoes.

Your brown hair is straight, thin, and wispy, and becomes more unkempt every day you refuse to get a haircut.

Drew’s blond hair looks soft with shiny curls that are perfectly secured in place with just enough hair gel. He must have a standing appointment with his barber because his hair always looks like he just got a fresh haircut.

You are annoyed with me because I talk too fast, and it is mentally exhausting for you to keep up with our conversations.

Drew stopped by my office to loop me in on a last-minute project. As we talk, he never asks me to slow down or tells me he can’t understand me.

You asked me if I’ve gained weight. You say you can see it on my body and can feel it when you touch me.

Drew asked if my blouse was new and mentioned that it matches the color of my eyes.

When you see a new diet on YouTube, you pressure me to follow it.

When Drew invites me to lunch, he isn’t concerned about the calorie count of the french fries on his plate or mine.

At night, you wrap your arm around me, locking me into place so that I can’t move, and you squeeze my hand so tightly that my fingers go numb.

At night, invariably, my thoughts turn to Drew. I wonder if he is peacefully sound asleep or wide awake at 3 am, just like me.

You are frustrated because you can’t find a job, and you take it out on me. You criticize my cooking, cleaning, and driving.

Drew tells me all women should have a “fuck it” fund so that they don’t ever have to stay in an uncomfortable situation at work or an unhealthy relationship.

You start opening my mail because you don’t like how I manage our finances and money. You are convinced I am hiding something.

Drew hand-delivers my mail to me even though I have an office mailbox.

Instead of enjoying my afternoon off, you tell me that I should be looking for a better-paying job to support us.

Instead of enjoying my afternoon off, Drew apologizes for needing my help to deal with an urgent matter at work and promises to make it up to me by buying me lunch next week.

You are bored. You have become fixated on everything I do, and you constantly nag me about things that are out of my control.

Drew writes a glowing statement of support about my work for my performance review. He says I am one of the few people that he trusts and can rely on.

When I remind you to take two pain relievers after you pulled a muscle, you snap at me, saying that you don’t need a “mother.”

When I attach a small bag of sour patch kids to Drew’s birthday card, he thanks me for remembering they are his favorite candy.

You kiss me, and I keep my eyes open.

Drew puts his hand on my shoulder to reassure me during a meeting and for a second, I let go and close my eyes.

You wish that I could intelligently talk about the things you are interested in.

Drew and I talk easily about anything and everything that comes to mind.

When you are frustrated, curse and swear, and I don’t want to be near you.

When Drew is frustrated, I listen and offer a new perspective. He thanks me and says that I am a “good friend.”

You ask me if I intend to visit my parents for the holidays as if it were a test.

Drew spies my “Happy Halloween” window decals and tells me that he desperately wants to buy

one of those 12-foot outdoor skeletons from Home Depot.

In the heat of the moment, you say the most hurtful things to me that I can't easily forgive or forget.

With intention, Drew is kind and says the sweetest compliments.

You are impatient and are quick to lose your temper.

Drew is patient and calm when life is chaotic and stressful around him.

The scars you inflict show up on the insides of my body where no one can see them.

The adrenaline rush of Drew's compliments heals my wounds from the inside out.

You kill the momentum of my motivation and squash my enthusiasm.

Drew inspires my creativity and challenges me to be a better person.

You tear me down with your words and actions.

Drew lifts me with his support and encouraging words.

You make me beg for the things I need and want.

Drew helps and supports me behind the scenes because he wants me to succeed.

After 6 years, you still don’t know me at all.

After 6 months, Drew knows me well enough to say things as if he is inside my head and knows exactly what I am thinking.

You applied for a new job today.

I have decided to leave you.

Drew gave his two-week notice.

You are waiting for me when I come home from work.

Drew’s partner waits for him to come home to celebrate.

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