Why Me?
why me?
why did it have to be me?
why couldn’t someone else
be one of the 3 in 1000?
why couldn’t it be someone
whose only problem
was a red mark on their face?
why couldn’t it be someone that didn’t care
what people think?
and much stronger than me
why couldn’t it be the bully?
that made fun of me all day
why couldn’t it be them
just walking down the street?
feeling every stare,
every whisper,
every laugh
why just why did it have to be me?
the longer looks, the double takes
the same questions over
and over
the mean names
banned from tables
ignored, feeling invisible
the anxiety.
the never ending anxiety.
the constant
“it could be worse”
yes, but to me
this is the worst thing i know
as if there is a ball and chain
strapped to me every day
just trying to make it through
looking in the mirror
grieving the me
that never had this face
missing out on
the love
the life
i could have had
wishing my tears
could make my mark disappear
maybe a prayer would work?
as I close my eyes and hope
that when I open them again
it will all magically disappear
hiding my face
with my hair
with makeup
and a camera roll filled with
half-face selfies
just trying to blend in
getting older
healing
learning to accept
reaching out to others
that have felt the same way too
hope shining through
maybe it’s not so bad?
maybe there is more?
maybe I have a purpose?
Why not me?
