I Killed My Dream

I killed my dream

Watched it wither up and die in front of my very eyes

I'm unworthy of this gift I've been given

It's time to forget

Pick a new path

A new dream

Keep your head down low

Swallow your pride

You've tried every possibility

Stop trying to make it work

The soul is quiet; it mourns

I'm not resentful

I don't despise

I just sit here and compromise in my mind

Trying to find a silver lining

Always getting lost in the lie that I tell myself

Lying to my soul that this wasn't the dream

That there are other things to achieve

Doing mental gymnastics to get over

The jungle of emotions I'm feeling

Trying to justify my choice, saying it had to be done

There was only one choice

Wasn't it?

I put a pen to paper, thinking it'll help

Help to release the pain and grief you feel inside

Don't hug me, I may cry

Please don't pry

I'll crumble under the microscope knowing I'm unworthy

No need to call the attorney; the decision has been made

Letting go of everything I've achieved

Focusing on the dream that was so close

And yet so out of reach

Smothered by compelling promises

Holding my choices hostage

I killed my dream; I had no accomplice

My subconscious begged me not to

How can I not?

With choices that lie in front of me

There was only one choice

So why do I feel like you didn't get a voice?

That I didn't listen to the dream

I shut it up as it tried to scream

I killed my dream, my hands are bloody

I'm guilty